Monday, February 15, 2010

I'll be the frog...

I am going to use the experience Jack and I had this afternoon as a parallel to my life and… I’ll be the frog. These past two months have been a disaster. I have tried to stay positive but really our life had started to unravel. “Your daughter might die,” they said. One year and five months my husband has been unemployed and sinking each day into a deeper hole of frustration. And like the frog, I am hopping all over the place from one problem to the next. Lately in sheer panic.

First I will expand on Isabelle’s surgery and results from last Tuesday. We headed to Seattle expecting a “routine procedure”. The routine part ended immediately when the anesthesiologist warned me, because of the high pressures in her heart and lungs, putting her under was a huge risk alone. I was so concerned that the thought of grabbing her and running for the door crossed my mind. Then I remembered I’m not in control, God is. She made it though surgery and the six hours of recovery that followed. Laying flat on her back waiting for the artery to “close up” and for her to be able to sit up. As we waited the cardiologist came in with the results. And they found the problem… Heartbreak, as her doctor in Bellingham should have found the “large hole” in the value connecting the right and left side of the heart called the PDA. He should of found it years ago and then we would not be in this position. And we can’t close the hole now because her body has used the hole (that caused the problem in the first place) to keep her alive. To add to the drama, I no sooner had her inside the front door late Tuesday night when Joe noticed blood all over the front of her dress! The artery opened and blood was escaping her like a fountain. 911!!! And must I brag a moment.. the paramedics were completely impressed by the technique I was using to stop the bleeding. Exactly as I was shown hours before. We spend most of that night in the ER. She made it though the entire ordeal.

And from the wisdom from Children’s Hospital we have a plan… Medication, three times a day. We might not see the pressures start to come down for a year! But the meds should cause her to start feeling better, able to do more things like she used to. They might try and close the hole in 3 to 5 years but we will have to wait and see what the medicine and God can do to bring down the high pressures in her heart and lungs. We will be heading to Children’s every three months to check her progress and dosage.

Back to the overall picture... As you can imagine, being unemployed for one year and five months can bring on a multitude of problems with money being the least of our worries. About a month ago I noticed my husband sleeping late and waking grouchy only to find him back in bed in the afternoons. Welcome depression, frustration and an overwhelming desire to leave this “one horse town”. As you can imagine with any man searching day after day, after yet another day for work can really bring out the worst in someone! With no job prospects in sight and many tears latter we decided it would be best if we could spend some time apart, with Joe going to Missouri to look for work and spend time with his mom and other family members, after all the fighting has to stop.

Back to the frog. As I watched it hopping all around while Jack was chasing it, I was reminded once again of me. Sheer panic, I can’t loose my husband, I can’t loose my daughter. Hop, panic, hop, panic. Then these huge hands swooped down and held him snug and secure. He calmed down and just was at rest. And that is exactly how God works. Joe got a job offer yesterday and Isabelle got up at basketball practice and RAN all the way across the court to get a drink of water!!! (after only 15 doses in her cute little body!) So could of our Lord swooped in- in the nick of time and made it all better? It’s possible. My husband will have an office to go to every day, he will I pray be blessed beyond measure in his work. And could God have created such a drug that will save my daughters life? It is more than possible… after all He did create the universe. And so I will rest, fully aware that I am in the father’s hands. And He didn’t forget about us and I will praise him that His hands are so much more gentle and wise than an eight-year-old boy!

So if I may ask for yet another prayer request please pray that all the details will be worked out for Joe to start this job soon. Pray the enemy will be rebuked from our hearts and lives!! Pray that God will bless Joe with success and our family with peace. Pray that the medicine will be effective in Isabelle’s body. I am so thankful for each one of you.

10 comments:

Milliren 5 said...

Amen!

Carrie said...

Great post...

I will keep praying...

Sending a virtual hug to you.
-Carrie Chute

Little Bug said...

Amy ~
There are not words to adequately convey to you how I am going to be praying for you. I am so happy that Children's was able to find the source of the problem and I am even more pleased that her body has immediately responded to the medication.
I am sorry that you had to go through the panic and the drama of it all.....I UNDERSTAND!!!!!
Just like I commented to you a week ago, God is holding your hand...He is guiding you, directing you and speaking to you. Do not doubt that and know that He is ABLE!!!!! I really can't stand the fact that it sometimes takes the hardest and lowest moments of our life to really give us the vision to see that God is protecting us and has the best in mind for us...I wish that wasn't the case, but often times, I know that it is.
We will pray for Joe--May this new job be exactly what he needs and may it be perfectly suited for his skills, personality and success!!! Keep supporting him and loving him and that beautiful family of yours....God's miracles are often progressive rather than instantaneous!!!! Remember that, and count on it....EVERY DAY!!!!
Lovebug Hugs,
Lori

Echo said...

Amy,
Thank you for sharing. I have tears in my eyes as I am reminded of God's love, provision and timing. I am reminded of James 4:7 which says "Submit to God, resist the devil and he will flee from you". Your prayers are powerful. You will continue to be in my prayers.
Echo

Cheri said...

Your honesty is beautiful. Know you are loved and being prayed for.

mollyebadi said...

Amy.....what can I say except you are an exquisite woman/person. I give you my heart, prayers and thoughts in the days ahead. Please keep your head up, the sun is starting to rise again.
Molly

Lisa Mee said...

Amy - Thanks to God and the doctors at Children's. I am so glad that the problem has been diagnosed. While the news is troubling and scary, at least you have information. Information that will help Isabelle. She will continue to be in my thoughts and prayers.

As for Joe, I am so happy that God has worked a plan for him as well. I am praying that his new job finds him some peace and meaning.

And, as for you my friend, your courage, wisdom and unwavering faith are truly an inspiration to me. You are the world's best mom and such an amazing woman. Being a mom and wife is never easy but you deserve some peace. Please know that I am also praying for you. May God grant you continued determination, patience and strength during these current challenges. Know that God, your family and friends are walking this path with you.

Love to you and please feel free to contact me if you need anything.
Lisa

Amy Mason said...

I have the best, most encouraging, loving, wonderful friends anyone could ever ask for!! Thank You for showing such love.

Christine said...

I love you Ames!

We're praying...hard! Keep the faith my friend.

Love, Christine

Shelby Friesen said...

You are a good woman Amy. You're also in the care of God. I love you and will continue to pray for all of you!